Listless

The last time I wrote here, on this blog was almost three weeks ago, when I pledged to begin an every-single-day regiment of posting here for at least a month. No one reads this, I know. But the point was to prove to myself that I could and to begin to change some of the terrible, horrible lack-of-stick-to-itiveness habits that I have lived with since I was a child.

When I made the decision to move with my boyfriend and our friends to Boston I had planned to make some Real Changes in my life. I figured that with leaving NYC the temptation to go out, to spend money and to party would die down and that I would make this natural shift over to being a productive, healthy-living, high-earning adult. I planned to read books all the time, work hard at writing and yoga and cooking and take many steps towards becoming a better housekeeper; skills that are critical for me to learn.

While the geographic change and my impressive lack of money have made some of these goals rather easy, I was genuinely surprised that my personality, habits and discipline-or lack thereof-didn't change with the immediacy of an on/off switch. Sure, I wanted to post everyday, but somehow it just wasn't happening.

It wasn't all due to laziness, shiftlessness and sloth; learning to live with four people when one has previously only been used to living with one is a significant challenge. Add to that the fact that we are trying to make a very old, very poorly maintained and very rarely cleaned house livable AND find a legitimate source of income, and you have a high-stress situation that doesn't leave a whole lot of time where one feels comfortable just sitting and writing. But that, to me, is precisely WHY it's critical that I post everyday. I cannot let external situations dictate everything, and I must learn to produce and continue to create and move forward even under less-than optimal conditions. This is something I must do.

Lots of times I wake up in the morning and I make a "To Do List". For some reason this makes me feel particularly productive, almost as though I have actually DONE all of those things, instead of just having listed them. the reality is, I rarely if ever complete a list and oftentimes things on the To Do List stay on the list for weeks, undone. I decided yesterday that it's stupid. It makes me feel like I failed and I haven't and it is a reductive way for me to plan my days. It may work for some people and I think it's useful for remembering tasks or items, but to use it as a "this is how your day will go" schedule, well, it just doesn't work for me.

Instead I made a list of Things I'd Like to Do. It's an overall, comprehensive list of what I'd like life to look like. I feel like writing those things down was critical; it let me list my real, actual goals, rather than a series of chores. It also helped me see the day to day bullshit as part and parcel with these larger goals. Not a bad way to gain perspective. Here are some of them...

Things I Want To Do

• Develop a serious and regular yoga practice
  
• Have a Spotless Kitchen, Bathroom and Bedroom
• Lose 15 lbs (it's vain but I'm being honest here)
• Only have 2 beers/glasses of wine MAX on a weeknight
• Get up no later than 9:30 every weekday
• Be in bed no later than 12:30 am every weeknight
• Complete a craft project once a month
• Keep in good e-mail touch with certain of my friends
• Cook for myself, lunch AND dinner 4 times a week
• Read all of Jane Austen before 2010
• Get something published for reals before I turn 30
• Take photos and post them on this website
• Buy a beautiful coat for winter and some sick sick sick ankle boots.
  

So there we are. I'm going to take it one day at a time and see what happens with this, with all of this.

FAIL, But Not Forever

So yeah, I know. I know that I said I would post every single day for a whole month and then immediately failed to post at all for days. I know that. And I know how that would make my mom, dad, third grade violin teacher Mrs. Felder, 7th grade social studies teacher Mrs. Carson and Barack Hussein Obama feel: disappointed. Disappointed in me for wasting my potential they would each say, shaking their head and looking like not one single thing in this world was more important than me posting on this blog like I promised I would.


Well guess what guys? A little something called LIFE? It gets in the way sometimes.
After only 4 days of being a "resident" of Massachusetts, I came back to NYC for a fun-filled weekend of birthday celebration with my friends. Not my birthday, other peoples, but... Things were lovely and alcoholy and fun and my friends are awesome is the bottom line. But prior to that I was trying to open bank accounts and clean bathrooms and use giant packing boxes as makeshift dressers so yes, shit got in the way of my posting. And the truth of the matter is that I didn't have What It Takes to post anything of substance and if you know me well (which, of course all zero of you who are reading this do) you know that I don't like to do things half-assedly.

So today's the day we begin FOR REAL. FOR REALSIES. From now until September 9th, barring an ACT OF GOD, I will post every day. About something. So there.

Right now I am on the BoltBus back to Boston and there is a kid across the aisle and one row in front who will NOT. STOP. STARING AT ME. I mean, I own mirrors, people. I KNOW I look good. But one would tend to think that in this digital day and age a child of about ten would only even be able to look at me for about 7 seconds without immediately requiring some other type of ocular stimulation. But apparently my exhausted, sleep deprived, makeup-less visage is as captivating as a Dora the Explorer movie or whatever it is that kids are into this days. (I always swore I wasn't going to be one of those people who doesn't know what the hell is going on with Kids These Days as far as their pop cultural shenanigans go, but lo and behold it's happened. Ah, well....)

You would also probably be inclined to think that the magnitude, consistency and duration of this staring is the type of thing that a mother would have trained a child against but you would be wrong again folks, because said mother is seated in front of the daughter gabbing away at her cell phone like we are in her home. Apples and trees, people. Apples and trees.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but these are also people who are carring bagS (note the PLURAL, meaning more than ONE) from the M&M store, (which apparently needs to exist) and American Girl Place. These are the kinds of people who come to New York to shop in chain novelty stores and then drag their wares home to Boston on a bus which they treat like their own personal living room.

In additon to staring this young girl is also profoundly fidgety. She keeps shifting and moving and turning around in her seat &c and the poor young woman unfortunate enough to be seated next her had been TRYING to do some work on a laptop but was forced to close it up from all the jostling and is now sitting with her hands folded atop her closed laptop, staring dejectedly out the window , most likely rueing her decision not to take a urine-soaked Greyhound.
This bus is rawther cozy though; perfect temperature and if I didn't feel so completely that I needed a shower I would be able to comfortably doze off.

I want to have an "image" because I like when people have visuals with their posts but I can't think of much to insert here. So I'll do the next best thing to relevance; Google Image Search!

Some artist made collages of images that came up when she subjected certain words (love, marriage &c) to a Google Image Search. My first thought was "oh shit, that counts as art?" and my second thought was "not a bad social thermometer".

So here goes. I'm picking the very first image that I see for each with NO exceptions.

Fidgety Child:















Okay pretty much the opposite of what I googled, but okay. Next.

Rude Mother:

This one almost didn't post but I PERSEVERED. See, Mrs. Carson?












Innocent Bystander:

















Perhaps a bit too literal, but so be it.

And finally.

Angst:


















Again, we are literal. but oh well. Also, is that supposed to be Harry Potter? Dunno.

Well that's all for today, folks! I'll see ya tomorrow. And I really will.

An Absolutely Delicious Brunch

...is one of my favorite things on this earth. I was delighted a few weeks ago when I discovered Buttermilk Channel in Gowanus or Cobble Hill, or whatever they are calling it over there these days.

They have an Eggs Benedict-which has long been my favorite brunch item--but they call it Eggs Huntington and instead of Canadian bacon its served with amazing Serrano Ham, and instead of English Muffins it served on delicious homemade biscuits! This, to me, is the greatest idea ever and has taken the already delightful Benedict dish to a whole new level.










I always get the Hollandaise on the side.


By far my favorite brunch in Brooklyn; too bad I discovered it 2 weeks before I left New York!


I also had an excellent Bloody Mary there. Bloody Mary's are something I forced myself to try despite the fact that I can't think of anything less appetizing. They have since grown on me quite a bit, and I am beginning to enjoy them although I don''t get them regularly; sometimes I just don't feel like drinking alcohol during the day, especially if I'm trying to stop being hungover!

Poor Oscar didn't enjoy his brunch as much as I did: it was a sausage and egg scramble, but it was 90% egg, 10% sausage and even I, an egg lover felt it was a little too eggy to be good.



That did sort of sour the experience for me, but he enjoyed his bloody Mary and we split a delicious salad AND the housemade sausage which was fantastic.

I hope Boston has a decent brunch that can compete! Or maybe I'll just become an expert at making biscuits.

I'm Beginning To

Use this blog as a journal of thoughts and account of daily life as opposed to solely being about my adventures in coveting things I can't afford! While all of that has its place and is very much fun to read, I'd also like to keep things somewhat more substantial, so as to make myself post everyday, even if it's just something little.
So there we are; a vow. I will post everyday for at least one month, beginning now, July 27, 2009. It may not seem like a large goal but it is for a number of reasons. The most pressing and visible is the fact that I am moving to Boston this coming Friday after spending almost a decade in New York. I am very nervous about leaving the only city I truly feel at home in, but am excited for the new adventure and feel very firmly that however much I may still love New York, it is time for a change, and I am moving into a beautiful house in Jamaica Plain with my wonderful boyfriend and our three dear friends.

The second reason is that a little over a month ago my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. It is treatable the say, and he has started chemotherapy and radiation but was hospitalized this week when he began to spike a fever. It might not be any big deal or it might be something serious so they need to keep him there until they know more. It has been a very frightening several weeks as I, like everyone who has a sick family member never dreams that this is a possibility.

Thirdly I will need to be travelling back and forth to NY the second and third week of August for friends birthdays and a wedding, respectively which can make posting tough.

Historically I have not dealt well with change, and moving to a new city while dealing with my dad's cancer is going to be quite a bit of emotional upheaval all at once. I know that I can deal with it and have found that the practice of meditation and yoga are wonderfully helpful for times like these. I hope to begin a serious practice upon my arrival in Boston and have staked out two potential yoga studios, here and here.

That same sort of grounding is what I am hoping that a daily commitment to writing here will also give me: a chance to reconnect with myself in between all of the busy, hectic moments that moving brings, not to mention the stress and strain of an illness in the family.

Also sad: my camera is missing! I took it out with me on an expedition to Brooklyn Bowl and the next day I couldn't find it again. It is very sad. I am also certain that I have lost my passport but that for some reason, is less perplexing to me. Hmm...

Also: realizing that I can't play the "student discount" card much anymore as my Sarah Lawrence ID is from an NY-based school and might not fly up in Boston. Maybe they'll all believe I take lots of weekends home?


So in closing I am excited by this challenge!

*good night*

Bessie Smith - Gulf Coast Blues

Usually the stuff that I post here is design related, but music is as much of an inspiration to me as visual art. That said I won't be posting songs here regularly, but this is one I can't resist sharing. It's a beautiful old blues song by Bessie Smith and I hope you enjoy it.

White Rooms, White Floors

In a few short weeks I will be moving into a beautiful Victorian house with my boyfriend and several friends. The house is old with amazing detail in Boston and I am excited to will have free reign over my bedroom and my office/dressing room space. My boyfriend was recently diagnosed with allergies to dust-mites and his doctor told him that it would be absolutely critical to keep his bedroom clutter-free. That suits me perfectly as I like the idea of having the bedroom be for nothing but bed-related activities, and now that I finally have my own dressing room/office space, I can put all of my personal items there, and reserve the bedroom exclusively for a bed, two night tables and maybe a chair.

Of a piece with this minimalist idea is the color white. I have always loved the serenity and the cleanliness of the color and lately have been falling in love with the idea of painting our bedroom floors and walls white and getting color only from our bedsepread (which I am hoping to buy in graphite gray) and a few pieces of art on the walls.

The color inspires fastidious cleanliness and will make it very easy to see any dust!

I am so inspired by the images I see on Apartment Therapy and on This Is Glamour, and think I'm going to go for this look in the new place.
Maybe I'll even add a chandelier if i can find one that isn't too fussy!

Ferragamo Maillot and Birthday Surprise!

I absolutely adore this swimsuit, the old-ladyish floral pattern contrasted with the modern take on a traditional 50s maillot is just gorgeous. At almost $400 it is way too pricey for me but that doesn't mean I can't look for a something similar, in my price range. I am keeping my eye out!

In other news, for my birthday last week my boyfriend surprised me with the beautiful green Virginia Johnson shawl that was the subject of my very first post on this blog. It was an amazing birthday from beginning to end, and the shawl was really the icing on the cake!

I had been planning to keep this blog private--when you are living with someone you don't get to keep many secrets, and I wanted to do something that was totally self-generated without feeling any pressure to make "sense" to anyone. But when he showed me the scarf I yelped and hugged him and immediately went to the computer and showed him how the thing he gave me was the very first thing I Love-d!

He is certainly the best gift of all.